But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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