If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize