Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she smelled like a LAN party
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
