i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize