I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You are the jesus of drinking
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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