there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
