There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
