So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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