Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Randomize
