Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
