I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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