so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
