I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
