Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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