Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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