I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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