Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
