your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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