Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
