i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
