I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
