great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My penis needs a shock collar
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
At least life still wants to fuck me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
