Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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