okay pat passed out under dana's car
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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