I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
