Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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