we have officially lost it.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize