6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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