physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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