all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
