there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
