I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
