he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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