this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
