hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize