"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
