Rock
Scissors
Fuck
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
