Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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