I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
