is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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