im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
