I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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