Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
