In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
