(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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