She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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