He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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