I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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