The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
