Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
