If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize