If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
