I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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