oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
