I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
