question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
