what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
