I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
