i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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