he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
