After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
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