Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Watching her eat just hurts me
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize