Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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