i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize