So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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