And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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